Have you ever wondered why you notice things others simply walk past? Why a piece of music can stop you in your tracks, or why you can sense the mood in a room before anyone has said a word? I used to think this was just me being overly perceptive, perhaps even overly dramatic. But it turns out, there is something much more fascinating happening underneath the surface.

Your brain is literally wired differently.

The sensitive brain and what is actually happening up there

Research has shown that highly sensitive people display increased activity in brain regions linked to empathy, social awareness, and reflective thinking. In simple terms, your brain is doing more, processing more, and feeling more, almost all of the time.

Two brain imaging studies in particular found that people with high sensory processing sensitivity showed significantly stronger activation in areas associated with attention, visual processing, and awareness compared to those with lower sensitivity. One study asked participants to notice subtle differences in landscape photographs. The highly sensitive participants didn’t just notice more, their brains lit up differently doing it.

Another study compared people from East Asia and the United States and found something remarkable. Those who were less sensitive, had brain activity varying significantly depending on cultural context. Among highly sensitive participants, it didn’t. They focused on the task itself, independent of external factors. Their attention went inward, toward the thing that mattered rather than being pulled by context.

The volume is turned all the way up

I once read that being highly sensitive feels like someone turned the volume button to its maximum. Every sound, every emotion, every shift in the room, all of it arrives louder, more detailed, more layered than it does for others.

This happens because of how the sensitive nervous system processes information. Rather than filtering environmental input quickly and moving on, the highly sensitive brain pauses. It absorbs, cross-references past experiences, considers consequences. It processes deeply before responding, often leading to future-oriented actions.

This is called the ‘pause-to-check’ tendency in new situations and it is one of the most defining features of high sensitivity. In new or unfamiliar situations, highly sensitive people instinctively slow down, observe, and assess before acting. Where others move quickly, we gather information first. This makes HSPs better prepared to respond to emerging situations and to opportunities and treats.

This can often be seen as indecisiveness, but this is actually a depth of processing. Your brain doing exactly what it is designed to do.

The three systems behind it all

High sensitivity is understood through three distinct dimensions, each reflecting a different way the trait shows up behaviorally and emotionally.

The first is Ease of Excitation, the tendency to become mentally overwhelmed by internal and external stimuli. Too many decisions, too much stress, too many people needing things at once. The cup fills faster than it does for others, and when it overflows, everything can become too much.

The second is Low Sensory Threshold, a heightened discomfort with intense sensory input. Bright lights. Loud noises. Strong smells. Scratchy fabrics. These things register more intensely in the sensitive nervous system, sometimes making environments that feel ordinary to others feel genuinely exhausting.

Both of these dimensions tend to activate what researchers call the behavioral inhibition system, a tendency to withdrawal and avoidance when overstimulation hits. But here is what I find very interesting about this. That same system, the one that makes us slow down and step back, is also associated with reduced impulsivity and a more future-oriented way of making decisions. We are not just avoiding discomfort. We are unconsciously protecting our capacity to think clearly, act wisely, and consider long-term consequences rather than short-term ones.

The third dimension is Aesthetic Sensitivity and this one is my favorite. It is defined as a profound appreciation for the beauty of the world around us. The way light falls through leaves. The way a piece of music makes you feel. The admiration of a well-made thing. This dimension activates a completely different system, the behavioral activation system. One that encourages novelty and discovery through curiosity. It is the part of sensitivity that is associated with empathy, creativity, and attraction to nature. This empathy and creativity highlights a willingness to support and help other people. These qualities are valuable strengths in both personal and professional areas.

The empathy connection

One of the most well-researched aspects of the sensitive brain is its relationship with empathy. Neurological studies have found that highly sensitive people show heightened activation in brain regions specifically associated with empathy, self-awareness, and what researches call self-other processing; the ability to understand and feel what another person is experiencing.

Differently put, when someone you love is hurting, you don’t just understand their pain intellectually. You feel it somewhere in your own body. When you read about injustice, it lands differently than it might does for others. When someone walks into a room carrying something heavy, you feel the weight of it before they have said a single word.

Researchers also found that this depth of empathic processing comes with natural willingness to help, not out of obligation, but out of genuine attunement to what others need. The sensitive brain identifies relational problems quickly, processes them deeply, and moves toward resolution. This also leads to greater attunement to others’ and responsiveness to others’ needs. These are not soft skills. They are neurological strengths. This is your advantage.

The double-edged sword

But the is another side of this story.

Research consistently shows that highly sensitive people are more affected by both positive AND negative experiences than others. In good environments, sensitivity blossoms, creativity flourishes, empathy deepens, awareness becomes a genuine asset. In difficult environments, that same sensitivity can leave you more vulnerable to stress, low mood, and self-doubt.

One study found that highly sensitive people rated emotional experiences, particularly positive ones, as significantly more intense than less sensitive participants. They also responded faster to positive stimuli. In other words, the good really is better. But the hard really is harder.

This is the nature of a nervous system turned all the way up. Everything arrives with more volume.

What I want you to take from this

Your brain is not broken. It is not too much, nor malfunctioning.

It is extraordinarily attuned, to beauty, to people, to detail, to consequence, to what is happening both around you and within you. Science is only beginning to fully understand what that means, but what is already clear is this: the sensitive brain is not a weaker brain. It is a different one. One that evolution kept for a reason.

The next time the world feels too loud, too much, too fast, remember that your nervous system is doing exactly what it was designed to do. Processing deeply. Noticing everything. Preparing thoughtfully before acting.

That is not weakness. That is your brain working for you.

With love, Fleur

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Let’s go a little bit back in time. During my bachelor’s, I met with a life coach. I shared this nagging feeling of insecurity and self-doubt about my ambition. There will always be someone smarter than me. More creative. More charismatic. More everything. She replied with these memorable words: no one will ever do it quite like you. That the specific combination of everything you are, will always be uniquely yours.

I didn’t know it at the time, but what she was describing has a name.

What is the Edge Effect?

In ecology, this concept refers to something remarkable that happens in the in-between zones of two different habitats. These borders tend to be richer in life, more diverse, and more dynamic than either habitat on its own. Two worlds meet and something entirely new emerges, like coral reefs that emerge where the open ocean meets the shallow coastal waters.

The writer Alison Hawthorne Deming captured it beautifully in ‘Poetry and Science: A View from the Divide’:

Life thrives where two worlds collide. And I couldn’t help but see the parallel with people.

Your edge is where you will thrive

Think about it this way. An intelligent and disciplined manager leads entirely differently than someone who is intelligent and deeply compassionate. An artist with a medical background creates something different than someone who studied fine art. An engineer with a love for nature builds a different kind of business than a business graduate with a passion for technology.

It is not about being the best at one thing. It is about what happens when your particular combination of things meets the world.

Your unique intersection of skills, experiences, personality traits, and cultural background is not a distraction from your path. It is the path. The edge between your disciplines, your passions, your contradictions, that is where the most interesting things happen. That is where you create something no one else can replicate, because no one else is standing in exactly the same place as you.

Finding your edge

My advice is simple: learn, try, embrace.

Go and learn something new, a language, an instrument, a finance course, a pottery class. It doesn’t have to be useful immediately. Curiosity is enough of a reason. Travel somewhere unfamiliar. Have dinner with someone whose work has nothing to do with yours. Collaborate with a scientist, a painter, a taxi driver. You never know which conversation will shift something.

Try combining what you already love with something unexpected. Some of the most original ideas come not from expertise in one field, but from the friction between two.

And above all, embrace what you already carry. Your edge is not always something you need to go and find. Sometimes it has been there all along, waiting to be recognised.

A reminder for the days you forget

The chance that anyone has ever shuffled a deck of cards in exactly the same order as you is almost impossible to imagine. There are approximately 8×10⁶⁷ ways to arrange a standard deck, that is an 8 followed by 67 zeros. If every person on earth shuffled one deck per second for the entire age of the universe, the probability of two decks ever matching would still be one in a trillion, trillion, trillion.

You are that rare. That specific. That unrepeatable.

I want you to hold onto that, the next time self-doubt creeps in. The next time you wonder whether you are the right person to chase what you are chasing. The next time someone is smarter, louder, or more experienced makes you question whether there is room for you too.

There is always room for that one thing that only you can bring.

As Alison wrote, it creates uniqueness without repetition. Wholeness without separation. A way of being fully yourself, without feeling like you need to fit anywhere in particular.

In nature, edge zones can be places of disturbance and competition. But they are also the hotspots, the places where diversity flourishes, where adaptation happens, where life finds a way.

That in-between space? That is not where you are lost.

That is where you grow.

With love, Fleur

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For my first book review I want to talk about a book that gave me the final push I needed to start this space. The New Entrepreneur by Richard Barrett, part of his series ‘The New Leader’. I hope it might give you the same push I needed.

How I stumbled upon it

During my master in Entrepreneurship I was fascinated about what kind of entrepreneur I would make. I wrote my masters on how sensitive people make great social entrepreneurs, but that was always very theoretical and intrapersonal. What I was missing was something that showed me what it actually looks like to do it. How that journey can look like. My mentor at the time mentioned him and his organisation, so inevitable I stumbled upon the books he wrote.

This book was an answer to my questions.

I instantly felt recognised. Like someone had written down the things I had been quietly feeling for years but could never quite articulate.

Let me give you a piece of the first page, so you will see what I mean.

Who is Richard Barrett?

Richard is a founder and thought leader in human development, value-based leadership, and the evolution of consciousness. He created the Barrett Values Centre, which helps organisations move towards more authenticity and alignment. Not crazy that I found so much resonance in his work.

His whole ideology is build around living and leading from the soul and that red thread runs through every single page of this book. Though, it is worth mentioning that he doesn’t come from an academic background the way Elaine Aron does.There are no sources, no citations. He draws entirely from his own knowledge, his own perspective, and his own inner knowing. For some that might feel too vague, but for me it was exactly what I needed to read.

It is definitely a book to read if you are already open-minded about another level of entrepreneurship, if the general perspective didn’t align with you. It will change the way you perceived entrepreneurship to be or it can give you the confirmation that you are looking for. The latter applied to me, not sure why but I needed the confirmation that what I was feeling was correct or valid. It can feel super vague or intangible, especially if you don’t see it much around you.

A summary of The New Entrepreneurship

At its core, The New Entrepreneur argues that the future belongs to businesses driven not only by profit, but by purpose, values, and a desire to create positive change. Barrett asks you to stop seeing entrepreneurship as purely a vehicle for wealth and start seeing it as a path for personal growth and meaningful contribution.

One of the central ideas is that the success of a business is deeply connected to the mindset and level of awareness of its founder. Entrepreneurs who understand themselves, their values, motivations, purpose, are simply better equipped to build something authentic and sustainable. Rather than chasing status or rapid growth, Barrett invites you to ask yourself first: what kind of impact do I actually want to have? And how can my work reflect who I truly am?

The book also addresses how the business world is shifting. Consumers, employees, and investors increasingly expect companies to operate responsibly, to genuinely care about people and contribute to solving real challenges. This shift, Barrett argues, calls for a new kind of entrepreneur. Someone who can hold financial success and empathy in the same hand. Someone for whom profit is the natural result of creating genuine value, not the primary goal.

There is also a strong emphasis on conscious leadership throughout the book. Emotional intelligence, self-awareness, resilience, these are not soft extras. They are the foundations. Challenges and setbacks are not presented as failures but as invitations to learn and grow. In that sense, building a business becomes as much an inner journey as an outer one. Which, honestly, felt very familiar to me.

And then there is the thread of authenticity. Rather than copying existing models or following conventional definitions of success, Barrett consistently encourages building something that genuinely aligns with your own strengths, passions, and values. Businesses built this way are not only more fulfilling to lead, they are more capable of making a lasting difference.

A practical note

After each topic, Barrett offers practical exercises to help you implement what he has been talking about. Personally? I skimmed over most of them while reading. I didn’t feel like I needed to do them in that moment, I was too busy underlining everything else. But I have a feeling that when I hit a real challenge in my entrepreneurial journey, I will be going back to this book and actually doing them. So maybe mark those pages.

My final word

A book doesn’t always need to teach you something entirely new. Sometimes a book just needs to give you a perspective, one that confirms what you have quietly known all along but needed someone else to say out loud.

That is what this book did for me. It gave me confirmation that what I was feeling was valid. It can feel incredibly vague and intangible when you don’t see your way of thinking reflected around you. This book reflected it back.

It lets you rethink success and to see business as a powerful vehicle for creating value for yourself, others, and for society as a whole. A perspective of entrepreneurship that places purpose, consciousness, and human connection at the heart of business.

This is just one of his books, he has written many, and I fully intend to read more. Let it inspire you. Let it be the kick you needed to believe in your own journey, even when it looks a little different from everyone else’s.

Especially then!

With love, Fleur

Interested in reading The New Entrepreneur yourself? You can order it through Bol.com using the link below. If you purchase the book through this affiliate link, I’ll receive a small commission at no extra cost to you. Thank you for supporting my work!

👉 The New Entrepreneur by Richard Barrett

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Over the years there has been many perspectives on sensitivity. A flaw. A nervous system problem. Reading the history of high sensitivity, is not just fascinating, it changed my perspective completely. I know I say that a lot, but otherwise I wouldn’t be writing a blog about it. Knowing the history gives us the ‘why’. Just like every ‘why’, it gives us a reason, a purpose. It gives us comfort or even putting things in a different light.

It didn’t just start with a name

The term Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) was coined by Elaine Aron only in 1996. But this story goes back much longer than that.

Around 150 years ago, women who were viewed as too emotional or dramatic were diagnosed with hysteria, described as a sensorial-emotional problem. In the Victorian era intense emotional and sensory reactions were dismissed as ‘hysteria’ or as a nervous system flaw. The word hysteria comes from the ancient Greek word hystera, which means ‘uterus’. Which creates an understanding about how the trait was being interpreted.

Scientists confused sensitivity with shyness. With introversion. It look a long time for someone to look at if differently.

Over the years, high sensitivity has gotten many names:

• 1913: the term ‘sensitive’ was already used by Carl Jung.
• 1950s: Alexander Thomas and Stella Chess were child psychiatrists and they had a different perspective than the general accepted Freudian view of childhood development. Rather than seeing childhood as shaped purely by early experiences, they believed children are already different from birth. They studied these differences closely and observed nine traits, one of which was ‘low sensory threshold’.
• 1980s: Harvard psychologist Jerome Kagan studied what he called ‘inhibited’ versus ‘unhibited’ childeren. Observing how they reacted to unfamiliar activities and objects. The unhibited childeren showed caution and sometimes fear, given more insight why some react slower to unfamiliar situations.

The theory that changed everything

Then Jack Belsky and Micheal Pluess came up with the Differential Susceptibility Theory, which I find super interesting.

Their theory suggests that natural selection shaped two fundamental types of people. Those who are genetically more adaptable and responsive to their environment, and those who are more fixed. Sensitive people fall into the first group, as they are more affected by both positive and negative influences. More attuned to detail. More responsive to what’s happening around them, in both their physical and social environment.

From an evolutionary perspective, both types have always served a purpose. Less sensitive individuals tend to be more resilient in difficult conditions, but may be less responsive to positive opportunities. They pay less attention to details and rely less on past experiences when responding. On the other hand, high sensitive individuals are more likely to benefit from positive influences, but are also more affected by negative ones. Due to their heightened awareness of opportunities and threat, which makes them better prepared to respond to emerging situations.

To increase the survival chances of a group, evolution made sure there would always be different ways of approaching a situation. This is where the story gets interesting.

The deer in the forest

Imagine a group of deer in a forest. They are hunting for food and trying not to get killed in the process. A part of the group is sensitive, they pause, they check, they observe before moving. The others are quicker to react.

Now imagine an open field with food in the middle. The less sensitive deer go immediately. They want to eat, so they go. The sensitive ones pause, they scan for predators first. They wait until they know it is safe.

If there are predators, the quick ones don’t make it. The sensitive ones survive. But if there are consistently no predators, the sensitive ones arrive too late and eventually starve.

Elaine Aron came up with this analogy in her book ‘Highly Sensitive People’, which I found quite extraordinary. It shows that sensitivity has purpose, that it was a strategy for survival.

What most people get wrong

Many assume that high sensitive people are shy or introverted, but that connection has never actually been confirmed. Around 30% of the HSPs are extroverted. The confusion comes from behavior, if you get easily overwhelmed, you will naturally either avoid certain situations or need more time alone to recover from overstimulation. That doesn’t mean you don’t get energy from being around people and having wide circle of friends. It just means your nervous system needs more time to process everything it took in. Sensitivity is also often associated with women, while this is not true at all. High sensitivity occurs equally in men and women. It is just seen as a more natural trait of women and generally more accepted than it is for men.

Then there is something that surprises most people. Around half of all HSPs are also sensation seekers. Despite their natural caution towards the unfamiliar, they get bored easily and love doing new things. I am absolutely one of those these people, I love trying out new things, even when they scare me. It can feel quite contradictory and honestly sometimes it is.

Why the name matters less than you think

In the end, the label we give this trait matters more in academic circles than in real life. What matters more is understanding why you experience the world the way you do and learning how to work with it rather than against it.

Sensitive people are not oo sensitive. The world simply changed around us. The people who shaped modern society were largely the ones who were quick to react, comfortable with risk, and rewarded for being loud. At some point, there stopped being a clear place for those who paused to check. And slowly, arriving late to the field, being careful, being attuned, being deep, began to look like weakness.

But it was never weakness. We just arrived at a world that had already eaten all the food.

With love, Fleur

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Science calls it affective empathy,
you know the kind where you don’t just understand someone’s pain,
you feel it as your own.
Where the line between their emotions and yours,
becomes impossible to find.

No definition quite prepares you for what it actually feels like.

Being an empath is like walking into a room and sensing the tension before a single word is spoken.

It is feeling genuine anger,
reading another newspaper headline

So you just end up avoiding the news.
Not because you don’t care,
but because you care too much
and your body knows it.

Being an empath means getting easily overwhelmed in crowded spaces.
Nauseous, sometimes, from the weight of other people’s energy.

It is putting your headphones on
and disappearing into your own world for a while.

It is having a handful of truly deep friendships,
rather than a big group of superficial ones.

It is being the person everyone calls,
when something goes wrong.

It is offering a listening ear, again and again,
and feeling so heavy by the end of the day
that you forget to ask how you are doing yourself.

It is people-pleasing to keep the peace,
even when the peace costs you.

It is shutting down completely,
when someone raises their voice.

It is always being the first to smell something burning in the kitchen
and somehow, that feels like a metaphor too.

It is finding a stray dog on the street
and immediately wondering,
if you could give it a home.

It is carrying the weight of the world so naturally,
that you forget it was never all yours to carry.

I can tell you all the science behind being an empath but ultimately,
feeling it is a whole different story.

Love, Fleur

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The shift from the traditional perspective

Today’s world is changing and it is asking for a different kind of entrepreneur. As we face growing environmental, social, and economic challenges, entrepreneurship is no longer only about financial success. There is an increasing emphasis on social and sustainable impact. On business that don’t just generate revenue, but genuinely contribute. And it all begins with intention. With the willingness to take a value, a vision, or a quiet but persistent feeling and turn it into meaningful action.

Traditional entrepreneurship is telling another story. Disruptors. Unicorn builders. Move fast and fail often. It is a world built around domination and scarcity thinking, where success is measured almost exclusively through financial metrics. Where the loudest voice in the room tends to win and where slowing down is rarely celebrated. Even more so, ‘sexy businesses’ such as AI or FinTech are capturing the majority of investor attention. That kind of entrepreneurship rewards boldness over vulnerability, and speed over dept.

Highly sensitive individuals have a unique role to play in this shift. Many are naturally drawn to building things that are not only successful, but also ethical, human-centered, and sustainable. Who are driven by purpose rather than dominance.

The future of entrepreneurship asks for something different, a more intuitive, aware, and sustainable way of building and leading.

The new entrepreneur

When I started my Master’s in Entrepreneurship, I was looking for answers on how an sensitive individual could be an entrepreneur. I kept searching for something that reflected what I already felt to be true, that the world needed more people who were deeply connected to purpose. Compassionate. Empathetic. Driven not by profit alone, but by a genuine desire to contribute.

And then I found it.

Research shows that the genuine desire to build with lasting social and environmental value, tend to originate from personal values rather than external ambition. Sensitive people, by nature, are deeply values-driven. Guided by authenticity, meaning, harmony, by care for community, and by a sense of responsibility toward something larger than themselves.

Their ability to think deeply, feel empathetically, and notice what others miss can become a powerful foundation for purpose-driven entrepreneur. And qualities most associated with sensitive people, such as emotional depth, creativity, intuition, ethical awareness, are precisely the qualities that shape the kind of entrepreneur the world is increasingly calling for.

Because what you care about, you protect. Sensitive people just tend to care deeply about the world around us.

But it won’t always be easy

There isn’t a story without shadows. The other side of that same coin, can feel like the biggest hurdles on the entrepreneurial path. The overthinking, the overstimulation, the self-doubt, just to name a few. The pressure to constantly perform, move fast, and push through is not something everyone of us is able to do. It might even question you more, whether this is really meant for you.

It is. Just not in the same way as we have been told.

I also want to be clear, I don’t believe sensitive people are better than those who aren’t. I simply believe that to build a future where harmony and compassion are central, we need ways of thinking that are different from the ones that brought us here. That everyone has their strengths and should be used accordingly. Not like a ‘one-size fits all’ approach. And sensitive people carry some of those ways naturally.

Redefining it on your own terms

The High Sensitive Entrepreneur is about redefining entrepreneurship on your own terms. It is about learning to trust your sensitivity instead of suppressing it. Building confidence in your own way of working. Creating impact through something that genuinely reflects who you are and what you care about. To me, entrepreneurship means responsibility, freedom, creativity, and the means to create impact. I had a vision and building something on my own felt like the best way to bring it to life.

Traditional entrepreneurship values speed, assertiveness, and performing well under stress. Those traits have their place, but so does emotional depth. So does intuition. And so does the ability to recognise a need that everyone else has overlooked. Traits of sensitive individuals offer a different perspective on entrepreneurship: one that values purpose, impact, and human connection just as much as growth and achievement.

What I want you to take from this

You are not too emotional. You are not too indecisive. You are not too sensitive.

You deeply care about what truly matters. And that sensitivity is not a liability in a world that needs change. It is one of the most valuable things you could bring to it. The world is increasingly recognising that this is exactly the kind of leadership its needs. Sustainability is no longer a niche interest, it is becoming a necessity.

Rather than seeing sensitivity as something that holds you back, it may actually offer a different and much-needed perspective on what entrepreneurship can look like.

With love, Fleur

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Being highly sensitive comes with its own set strengths and challenges. It is often hard to put into words how deeply things are felt by someone who experiences life more intensely. There might even be some things that you never thought to be part of your sensitivity, which might give you a new perspective.

Life is not always a piece of cake and for some it is carried with more weight than for others. However, it all starts at being aware. Once it becomes clear of what might be more challenging for you, life can become considerably easier. At the same time, being sensitive can also be incredibly beautiful. Something that we are not always fully aware, that this too is more colourful.

When I first started reading about what high sensitivity actually entails, everything fell into place. Simply being aware of what I was struggling with and understanding why, gave me so much comfort. It gave me a starting point that I could work from. By recognising what I need, I changed my lifestyle around it. I read books for relaxation, so for a brief moment I can step into another world. Or have deep conversations with the people you care about, rather than have small talk in big groups. By recognising my struggles, I was able to detach from them a little and see them instead through the lens of what is simply part of being highly sensitive. Going from ‘I am socially akward’ to understanding understand what circumstances I could socially flourish.

Setting boundaries should become easier from this kind of awareness. Once your limits and needs are understood, situations that don’t suit you can be avoided more easily. Situations that might otherwise lead to overstimulation, a reinforced negative self-image, self-doubt, or stress.

Knowing yourself is the beginning of wisdom – Aristotle

The strengths of being highly sensitive

So much can be gained from this trait, even if it isn’t always recognised as a strength.

• Empathy, compassion, and trust come naturally, alongside a deep sense of care for others.
• Creativity and artistic expression are often heightened, paired with a vivid imagination.
• A profound inner life 
• Cognitive and emotional depth 
• Enhanced problem-solving abilities
• Deeper interpersonal relationships, getting more energy from talking about each others deams and fears rather than the weather
• Reflective thinking & being self-aware
• Opportunities and small details are noticed that others might walk straight past.

The challenges of being highly sensitive

• A higher likelihood of depression, anxiety, self-doubt, and low self-esteem can be part of this picture
• Stress and pessimism can creep in more easily.
• Not the biggest fan of risk and probably end of just avoiding it.
• Social interactions can feel more difficult, especially when your social battery runs low and you find yourself zooming out.
• Situations tend to be approached with more caution and new or uncertain circumstances are avoided altogether.
• An unrealistic sense of perfectionism is something I still recognise in myself today.  

Tips and coping strategies

For me, I always felt exhausted after day of shopping, often making me more emotional or irritated afterwards. Now, shopping trips are planned differently. Going alone and trying to avoid peak hours, I manage to be quick and direct with what I need. Another thing that I have picked up, is making yourself familiar in advance before visiting another place – like figuring out how the public transportation works. A little preparation goes a long way in making the unfamiliar feel more manageable. Lastly, what came to my mind. A very fun occurrence that happens once or twice; this sudden wall that hits when you are in social situations. I get tired, left with no social skills and no energy to filter out the background noice. Just leave early, there is really no shame in it. It is better than sitting there, not enjoying and struggling to engage.

With love, Fleur

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People have probably told you that you are ‘too dramatic’, ‘too sensitive’, ‘quick to cry’, or hopelessly indecisive. But has anyone ever told you that you are also ’empathic’, ‘compassionate’, ‘creative’, ‘easy to trust’ and have an eye for detail? The negative side tends to get magnified, while the other side of the coin gets no recognition. Well, you are not alone. Around 15% to 20% of the population is highly sensitive. It is not a rare personality trait. It simply became marginalised.

What does it mean to be an HSP?

Experts often use the acronym D.O.E.S to explain what high sensitivity entails and honestly, many things fell into place for me.

The ‘D‘ stands for Depth of Processing, here you think deeply. You reflect, analyse, and consider every possible outcome before making a decision, this is why decisions can take longer than others expect. Not because you are indecisive, but because your mind is genuinely processing more.

The ‘O‘ stands for Overstimulation. If you are like me, you know exactly what it feels like to hit a wall. That moment when everything becomes too much all at ones. That’s because your nervous system is wired to pick up on and absorb environmental stimuli more intensely than others, which can make you feel mentally and physically exhausted. Basically means your cup fills up faster. Hunger, stress, or sadness hit harder internally. Loud noises, bright lights, or strong smells can overwhelm you externally. This is your nervous system doing its job, just at a higher volume than most.

The ‘E‘ stands for Emotional Intensity & Empathy and this one is truly a double-edge sword. You feel your own emotions more deeply and you also pick up on and absorb the emotions of the people around you. You feel a broader, richer range of emotional depth, meaning that the highs are breathtaking and the lows can floor you. This is why you cry at a sad film, feel anger at injustice, and stand completely in awe in front of something beautiful. You don’t just observe life. You feel it.

The ‘S‘ stands for Sensory Sensitivity. You notice things that others miss entirely, the subtle shift in someone\s tone, the detail in the corner of a painting, the change in atmosphere when someone walks into a room. In new or unfamiliar situations, you naturally pause, observe, and assess before jumping in. The words often reads this as hesitation, but it is actually awareness.

This is not weakness. It is depth.

Depth of awareness, in paying attention what others don’t deem worthy. Depth in meaningful relationships, where you understand exactly what the other needs before they say it. Depth of love, in what is expressed and in what is absence.

Were you born this way?

Yes. High sensitivity is a genetically rooted personality trait, meaning you have been born with it. That said, certain life experiences can amplify sensitivity over time, but that is a longer conversation for another time. One more thing worth knowing, being an HSP does not mean you tick every box. We are all unique and sensitivity shows up differently in everyone. Some of my most sensitive friends rarely cry, yet they carry a profound sense of empathy and injustice. Sensitivity does not come in one shape.

Lastly, but definitely not least important. High sensitivity is sometimes confused with a disorder, but it is not. It is a distinct personality trait that shapes how you think, how you feel, and how you move through the world.

With love, Fleur

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